*~*~Kim's Blog About Nothing~*~*

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Fellow Lep Blogger Karen placed a calendar on her blog, so I'm joining the fun as well! Feel free to add important dates to my calendar any time. But be warned....useless entries by useless people will be deleted.

Man, can you believe it's September 1 tomorrow??? Damn, where is the time going? I'm seeing more and more Christmas stuff in the stores; the Spirit Halloween Superstore next door to work will be opening in the next week, and the grocery stores are already getting supplies for Thanksgiving, like roasting pans. Damn, time marches on, and hopefully it isn't marching across my face.

Said by Kim at 7:25 PM

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Monday, August 30, 2004

Many thanks to fellow Lep blogger Angie for sending me this joke. It made me think of two other Lep bloggers, Julie H. and Diva Karrie for reasons that....well, if they want to explain, they can do that themselves in the comments.

GIRLS NIGHT OUT

Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls
wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the
male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to
his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy
back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a
$50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about
the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his
butt cheeks again.

My relief was short-lived.

Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me!!! Now
everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to
top the $50.

My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet...... What could I do????

The woman in me took over!

I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the
eighty bucks, and left.

Said by Kim at 7:33 PM

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Here's a word to the single men out there trying to meet women....if you email one, complimenting her, DO NOT forward another womans' email address in the email because you're too frickin' lazy to attach your picture to your email to another woman.

And why is it that men don't realize their drooling over women walking by in the grocery store can be heard? These two produce clerks at one of the 'discount' warehouse grocery stores here were oogling over girls while unloading bananas (rather fitting, dontcha think?) Saturday while working. I happened to be within earshot of hearing them, and they were just making total asses of themselves. We're not talking young boys here....these guys were probably in their mid-30's.

I wanted to grab a paper towel, give one to each of them and say, "Wipe your chin. You're drooling on the produce."

Said by Kim at 10:18 AM

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5 days until "His Purpleness" arrives in Fresno! Can't wait for this one! From what I've read in various places, this is going to be one hell of a show! It will make it a double treat if Morris Day And The Time open for him! Gotta do "The Bird"!

I went to Macys Sunday, and saw they were having MAJOR reductions on alot of stuff! I got 2 sweater tops, 2 summer tops and a pair of jeans for the grand total of: $65.00!

My receipt said I saved $114.00. Ka-ching!

I'm on vacation all next week, but I will be going to the dentist, calling each night to see if my panel is called for damned Jury Duty, getting that oil change, but also hopefully doing some slot playing at some point. Plus, I want to get rid of some junk, and old clothes. So it will be a busy week.

Said by Kim at 5:17 AM

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Saturday, August 28, 2004

According to my tracker, some asshole was led here on his quest for "Teens With Horny Animals."

Guess I disappointed your sorry ass, didn't I?

Said by Kim at 9:05 PM

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Friday, August 27, 2004

Well, don't know why, but Mom's got a pissy hair up her butt for whatever reason again. So much for a peaceful weekend.

But the countdown is on for next Saturday and the Prince concert! I'm looking forward to this one! I adored his music during the 80's, and it sounds like he isn't disappointing, based on a couple of concert reviews. This should be a fun show! Let's see if I can make it 3 for 3 in having a porn show right in my general seating proximity, too.

Said by Kim at 9:21 PM

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"A court is a place where what was confused before becomes more unsettled than ever."

Hmmmm...sounds like a certain 'self-appointed court' I know of.

Said by Kim at 11:42 AM

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Found this on KC's blog, and OH MY GOD!! This one fits me SO well (both picture AND description)!!!

HASH(0x8af6cc0)

Well, this picture is you. You seem angry about
something, are you? Or maybe you just like to
keep to yourself. You give off the "fuck
off" vibe and people dont obey that vibe,
you get very angry. You might have a few good
friends, and only they know the real you. You
dont like to take shit from people, but
sometimes you have no choice. You dont like to
be social, and you immensly dislike people with
a bubbly personality, you just wanna hurt them.
Don't you just wish you could be like them?
When people do actually get to know youi, you
will stand up for them and you got their back
when in trouble. You are a very loyal friend,
but when someone double-crosses you, you forget
them. Have you had many girl/boy friends? You
are the kind of person that doesnt go looking
for love, but if it comes to you, you might
just accept.

Which Beautiful Nature Picture Represents You Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

Now tell me this doesn't describe me to a 'T'?

Said by Kim at 5:25 AM

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Thursday, August 26, 2004

"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy."

Said by Kim at 7:17 AM

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Found this on Rhonda's blog....what color are YOU? I'm joining you out here in left field, Rhonda, since I'm green.

You're Green!

What is your color? (girls only... great anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Said by Kim at 5:37 AM

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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

We have two new blogs in the Lep Induced Blogs family! The first is a lovely Yorkshire lass named Kate. I've been a forum mate with Kate on the Official Unofficial Def Leppard Forum for awhile now, and she's a gem!

The second addition is from the opening act on the recently completed Def Leppard "X" tour, a chap from Belfast, Ricky Warwick! It's so nice to see celebrities blogging....hint, hint Lep! I saw Def Leppard and Ricky at the beginning of the "X" tour in San Francisco on 12/14/02, and it was a KICK-ASS show!!

Welcome to the family, Kate and Ricky!!

Said by Kim at 7:32 PM

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Why do managers feel they need to treat their employees like children? Our manager/assistant manager/whateverthehellsheis decided this week to revoke our privilege of viewing the vacation calendar online, due to 'abuse'. WTF??? She recently implemented a policy of requiring 3 days' notice when requesting vacation days, other than those already planned at the beginning of the year. Only 2.5 people are allowed to be off at one time, which is a laugher in itself, because there are many days where nearly half of the office is out on the same day, either for vacation or calling in sick.

So now we're having our hand slapped like little kids, and we can't view the calendar to see if there ARE two people off on a given day. We're supposed to now email our request to her or our other manager (who we haven't seen in I don't know how long) with our request. Yeah, bite me. Maybe if she stopped micro-managing, and stopped being such a friggin' control freak, the office morale would be SO much nicer!

We're having a staff meeting next week, and you can believe this subject is going to be brought to the table! It states in our Union book that calendars ARE TO BE POSTED for viewing....so there may be a mass grievance in the works if she doesn't unclench that ass and STOP MICRO-MANAGING!

Said by Kim at 10:07 AM

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Found this on Tracey's blog:

The Cyborg Name Generator. I am:

Yep, that's me!! LOL!!

Said by Kim at 7:43 AM

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"A lie told often enough becomes truth."

Said by Kim at 7:21 AM

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004

"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them."

Yep, I'm bad, and DAMN proud of it! *snort*

Said by Kim at 7:55 AM

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Like your Mom always used to tell you, "Make sure you have clean underwear." I am hoping this guy took that saying to heart. I live on a rather busy street - 2 lanes of traffic north, and 2 lanes south. To get into our driveway, I have to turn in front of traffic travelling south. Usually, it's not that bad trying to get into the driveway at 4:15 pm when I get home from work.

Last night, there was quite a bit of traffic, so I had to sit in my lane to wait for southbound traffic to pass. I'm looking in my rear view mirror at traffic coming behind me, and I see this big SUV coming mighty fast behind me in my lane. I'm starting to tense up, thinking this asshole isn't going to stop! When he finally realizes that HEY, THAT CAR IS STOPPED, he starts to swerve over into the outside lane, then has to pull back, THEN he throws on his brakes, causing his car to stopped ohthisclose to my bumper, and sideways.

What's even funnier about this whole thing, is that on the corner of the street we all had just passed sat a cop car, probably trying to get his quota of tickets for the day. He must have been wiping some jelly from a Krispy Kreme off of his lap to miss this asshole.

I sure hope that guy that almost hit me had to change his underwear when he got home. But damn, a 2004 Grand Prix would have been nice, too!

Said by Kim at 5:04 AM

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Monday, August 23, 2004

If at first you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

*snicker*

Said by Kim at 8:03 AM

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Sunday, August 22, 2004

Today was such a nice break from the God-awful temps we've been having. It was somewhat overcast, and I think it only got up to 90. Such a difference from the 100 plus degrees we've been having.

And I swear we're going to have an early fall....some of the leaves are getting some color to them ever so slightly, but enough to notice. Spring and fall are my favorite seasons. Once the colors really start to come out, I'll snap some pictures of the foilage, and post them here.

BRING ON FALL!!

Said by Kim at 7:46 PM

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Nothing much to talk about today. Although my Niners did lose yesterday in Chicago against the Bears.....

And I see that either my niece, Dez or one of her kids paid a visit here according to my Tracker....HEY DEZ! OR SYM!

It's always been strange calling her my niece, because she was already here when I was born....I have two other nieces/nephews, Cindy and Larry, that were already born when I came crashing into the world, also.

And my birth....I understand why I'm so damned stubborn.... Mom says that she was having trouble giving birth, so the doctor told her that if I wasn't born by 4 pm, he was going to do a C-section. I came out at 3:59 pm. Nope, no one was cutting ME out!

Said by Kim at 5:31 AM

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Saturday, August 21, 2004

Some people are like Slinkies . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Said by Kim at 6:19 AM

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Friday, August 20, 2004

Well, look at me...I must be Miss Chatty today! LOL

But don't you hate when you bite the inside of your lower lip? I did that a couple of days ago, and now I can't stop 'nibbling' on the spot. Grrrrr....

And I received a Jury Duty Summons in the mail yesterday....oh jolly....NOT! And it's during Labor Day week, no less. I'm on vacation that week, so at least I won't have to worry about missing any work, but couldn't they pick a better week than that? And I have a dental appt. on the 8th to see about getting this tooth fixed, and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss that for jury duty. Hopefully my panel will be excused by phone, and I won't ever have to go downtown. It's not pretty going downtown.

And on another note.... we have another birthday today! It's Miss Envy's son, Aaron's birthday today. He is now officially a teenager! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AARON!!! May this be a very special day for you!

Said by Kim at 8:45 AM

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There's a special visitor to my part of the world....yes, our favorite AB, Mark Senff is visiting the Golden State, so if you happen to read this, AB.....WAVING TO YOU from about 4 hours north of Hollyweird!

Said by Kim at 7:54 AM

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Ok....is it just me, or does anyone else think the low carb items out on the shelves in the stores now taste like complete CRAP???

I bought some Yoplait Low Carb yogurt awhile back (thankfully I only bought one just to try it), and put my first spoonful in my mouth, and thought that was one of the most God-awful things I'd ever eaten. NO flavor whatsoever. Needless to say, it went down the garbage disposal.

Last week, I bought a 'Reduced Calorie, Reduced Carbs' Coffee Mate French Vanilla coffee creamer. I put my normal amount into my coffee, noticing that it was practically like water as it came out of the bottle, and there was NO TASTE. Maybe just a small hint of flavor. In order to get the amount of flavor that I like, I'd have to used about half of the bottle for one cup of coffee!

So thus ends my journey into the Low Carb product craze. I refuse to pay a pretty penny for something that tastes like cardboard. If I can't have the flavor, then I ain't buyin'! I'll stick to my pasta, and flavorful coffee, thank you very much!

Said by Kim at 4:37 AM

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Thursday, August 19, 2004

Today is a very special day, because it's Robin's Birthday!!! Robin is also a fellow Steve Young fan, so Steve stopped by to tell you"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROBIN!!!!!

Said by Kim at 4:27 AM

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Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Everyone seems to be changing the looks of their blogs....I suppose I should too, but I kinda like this look! But I may start browsing Blogskins here and there to see if anything really strikes my fancy. But it will have to accomodate my "Wheel-O-Joe". BWAHAHAHA!

Said by Kim at 1:24 PM

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I just heard that our Chief Of Occupational Medicine doctor passed away this morning. You never know when your number will be up, so EMBRACE each day, and live it like it's your last.

Said by Kim at 9:41 AM

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I'm sure most have received this list at one time or another, but for those who haven't....some points to ponder:

1. Can you cry under water?

2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunkydunk."

3. How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

4. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a
penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you
were buried in for eternity?

7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

9. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wakeup like every two hours?

10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called hearing?

11. Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

13. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty
for Miss America?

14. If a 911 operator ha s a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

15. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in
the first place!

16. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

17. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

18. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

19 Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
can in prison?

20. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labor!

21. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live
forever.

Said by Kim at 5:52 AM

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Well, I didn't have time to post about this yesterday, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before I received a mention on Doc's blog. NO FREE ADVERTISING IN RETURN, DOC! I'm a bitch that way, but hey - THANKS for the free advertising on YOUR firestarter blog!

Seems that the Doc had issues over the posting of a certain lurker/stalker's IP publicly on my blog. This was done to show what a hypocrite this particular person is. Simple as that. Perhaps a few stones should be cast at the person who posted IP's first in order to out someone. Look no further than the newest blog link on your blog for the answer.

Doc also takes pot shots at some of the threads on the Official Def Leppard Forum. Well guess what Doc....those threads are in the NON-DEF LEPPARD DISCUSSION part of the forum, which means pretty much anything goes, silly or serious. Sure, some are silly....which means if you don't like them...DON'T READ THEM! I also remember you getting your shorts in a bunch because your "Pass The Torch" idea didn't take off as you wished, regardless of how many people tried to reason with you that there might not be enough blogs at that time to keep the game going, and when the Webmaster of Defleppard.com started the game off on his old blog, boy you really got your knickers in a twist. The game lasted all of what, a month if even that long, because there simply weren't enough blogs at that time to keep the game going, as I and others tried to explain to you.

Another pot shot was thrown at another fellow Lep blogger, Lori about how nice it would be if Def Leppard were to join the blogging community and put out blogs to keep everyone up to date on how recording is going, and just general life. Doc says that what the Tour Diaries are for. The name says it all, Doc...TOUR DIARIES. And what about the rest of the time? Fans are always clamouring for more news from the band, so what better way than to have one or two blogs from band members who wish to do one? Other celebrities are blogging, so why not Lep?

You can say 'it's nothing personal' from now until doomsday, Doc. I'm not buying it.

Said by Kim at 5:21 AM

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Monday, August 16, 2004

Ok....what IS the deal with having the booming bass turned up so damned much in your car? Geez Louise...had I been in a heightened state of arousal on my way to work this morning, I would have had NO problem 'getting off', thanks to the boomer next to me at the light.

Said by Kim at 7:27 AM

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

Gosh, I don't even know where to begin....that was freakin' blast! We started the afternoon/evening out by parking the car in the arena parking lot, then heading over to The Doghouse Grill. This is a new place, and I'm not really sure that I'll go back. Seating was kind of like a free-for-all...first come, first served. I can envision hearing about big fights in this place in the future over a stupid table. My friends and I went there mainly to catch a few minutes of the Raiders/49ers preseason game....we saw all of maybe 5 minutes. When we asked why the game wasn't being shown anymore, the guy bussing the table said that they won't show any Raiders games. See, Raiders fans have basically run themselves out of establishments to watch the games at here in Fresno, because they have to act like freaking IDIOTS when their team loses. THANKS, YOU FRIGGING IDIOTS!

So once we finally got a table, and ate, bought a VH shirt from a hawker (hey, it was 20 bucks, compared to $35.00!), it was time to walk back over to the arena, to stand in the hot sun until 6:30 when the doors opened. Air conditioning never felt so good when we walked inside.

We found our seats, then my friend Mary and I left to go walk around to see if we could catch a glimpse of another friend of mine that was going to be there. We did pass by each other, but since he was with his girlfriend and her son, he couldn't say anything....but he gave me a wink and a little smile!

We made our way back to our seats, and waited for the first band, called Shine Down to come out. During their warm up music, 'Rock Brigade' by Def Leppard came on....I was rockin' out, let me tell you!

Shine Down came on, and I actually liked them. Very hard crunchy edge, but I liked their sound. I have heard one of their songs played quite a bit on our local station called "45". Their lead singer was kind of a demonic looking tweaker, but he actually sounded quite intelligent. So I'll be looking for their CD.

Their set lasted for about a half hour, and they got a very good response. After the lights came back up, I went to the restroom, and walked around to the other side of the arena, and ran into an ex-boyfriend of mine, Jeff. It was so great to see him, and catch up with what he's been doing.

Then the event of the evening....VAN HALEN! Damn, they were great! Sammy was smiling that wonderful smile of his, Eddie was the guitar master, Michael Anthony played with the crowd, and Alex Van Halen did a superb drum solo.

I can't even remember all of the songs, so don't ask! It was just a truly wonderful evening....even with the couple a couple of rows down who practically had sex right there in the aisle. LOL

Said by Kim at 2:32 PM

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Saturday, August 14, 2004

Hot damn, that was a FANTASTIC show! I'm pooped so this will be brief...I'll try to write more tomorrow morning before heading off to do some gambling....but that was F-ING GREAT!!!!

Sammy was great as always....he signed a ton of autographs for the lucky bastards who won tickets for the pit by the stage. One girl had a California license plate that said SAMMYLV or something like that...he signed that, and anything and everything.

Eddie was fantastic! He was really moved by the cheers he received.

For the second concert in a row, we had a couple sitting near us who was practically getting it on during the show. Coulda done without that distraction.

But I did run into an ex-boyfriend of mine....it was great to see him again. He was my 'second love'. We talked for a few minutes, he said "Damn, Kim...you look great!" But he's a Rams fan....I could have never hung with that. LOL!

Anyway....off to bed....but it was a FANTASTIC SHOW!!!

Said by Kim at 11:21 PM

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Well Stalker, I'm done with you, too. Hopefully you've been exposed for the hypocrite that you truly are. Now I'm bored with you. I have better things to do, like going to a concert tonight. Something you couldn't possibly relate to, because that would mean actually getting up and away from the computer.

Adios, Stalker!

Said by Kim at 2:58 PM

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Here ya go, Traci!

Said by Kim at 12:06 PM

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LOL...thought you were going to find something here?? Royalty payment, please!

Said by Kim at 10:18 AM

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WOOHOO!!!! Today is the day for VAN HALEN!!! I'll post a review sometime tomorrow...give me time to recover first!

I hope everyone down in Florida came through dealing with Charley. My thoughts are with everyone as the clean up begins.

Thus far today, no nosey visitors...but the day is still early. But never fear... nosey visitors WILL be exposed right here for all to see, when I see them on my tracker.

Catch everyone later...have lots to do before tonight! Kathy - HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT TOMORROW TO HAWAII! I'll get you a blinkie if there are any tonight. Next up: PRINCE!!

Said by Kim at 8:05 AM

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Friday, August 13, 2004

Why is it that when one wants to get to sleep because they have a busy day and evening planned for Saturday, that the next door neighbor decides to having a friggin' pool party at night? This neighbor has not been around his home much, because he evidently has been staying at his girlfriend/fiancee's house most nights. The only time he seems to come around to his house lately is to roll his garbage cans out on Tuesday nights....QUITE LOUDLY may I add, and this evening for whatever in the hell shindig he's got going on over there next door. Just because he has a built-in pool. The dogs outside are restless because of all of the FRIGGIN' NOISE they are making.

Why can't people have consideration for their neighbors? This guy (when he does stay home) is probably mid/late 50's, and has ALWAYS seemed to make the most noise at night....throwing beer bottles into the garbage, dragging his steel ladder to and fro across the concrete patio, pruning his shrubs, open and close the side door leading into his garage REPEATEDLY....the list goes on and on.

GET YOUR PANSY ASSES BACK INSIDE! SOME PEOPLE WANT TO SLEEP, ASSHOLES!

Said by Kim at 9:15 PM

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Said by Kim at 6:57 PM

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Wow, someone decided to use my copyrighted words in a book. I'll expect my royalty check soon, right? LOL

Said by Kim at 11:00 AM

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We have another new blog joining the ranks of Lep Induced Blogs! May I present Miss Debbie and her Girls Together Outrageously! Welcome to the blogging family, Debbie!

Just be sure to watch for any

that will probably be stopping by.

Said by Kim at 4:32 AM

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Thursday, August 12, 2004

One of my cousins forwarded this funny to me...thought I'd share it here, instead of emailing to everyone....NO OFFENSE TO ANY OF THE BLONDES OUT THERE (at least none that you know of....lol):

>51 Days
>
>A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day,
>when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant
>blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of
>champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit
>down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses
>are filled and they begin toasting and chanting,
>"51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
>
>Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks
>and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two
>more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in
>raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
>
>Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under
>her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture
>in the middle and the table erupts.
>
>Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table,
>exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting
>"51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
>
>The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so
>he walks over to the table. There in the center is a
>beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster.
>
>When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender
>asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and
>celebration about?"
>
>The blonde who brought in the picture pipes
>in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make
>fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight.
>Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it
>together. The side of the box said 2-4 years,
>but we put it together in 51 days!"

Said by Kim at 7:56 PM

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It's just a disgusting day outside....it's already too damned hot, the air is this icky haze, and it's a repeat of yesterday, evidently...106. FALL, WHERE ARE YOU???

2 MORE DAYS UNTIL VAN HALEN!!!

And I think at some point I chipped my left upper tooth in the very back. I noticed it yesterday as I was trying to get remnants of the sub wrap I had just had, out of the corner of my mouth with my tongue, and it felt jagged and weird. But I don't have any pain, so I can hold off until next week to see the dentist. I really have to stop crunching ice.

And everyone say a little prayer for those who live in Florida, especially fellow blogger KC, with the approaching hurricanes. Hang on, girl!!

Said by Kim at 7:27 AM

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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

No, they aren't claiming to be "Jenny From The Block", but there are 2 new Lep Induced blogs joining the family!

First we have Ramblin' Debs, and we also have Lori's blog, Contemplating Lori! Stop by and check out what these ladies have on their minds!

Welcome to 'The Family', Ladies!

Said by Kim at 7:46 PM

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This is absolutely hysterical...one of the guys in Materiel Services here at work made up this little 'questionaire' for those seeking employment with our hospital/HMO. I guess maybe I find the humor in it because I work here! But as I'm wiping away the tears of laughing so frickin' hard, I share with all of you!

ACT NOW / LIMITED SPACE AVAILABLE
Are you interested in a high paying occupation , excellent benefits , friendly people and nice atmosphere ?
Then ****** (hospital name omitted) is the place for you . Just answer the few questions below to find out if you are qualified for a lasting occupation .
Are you lazy ?
Do you come to work late more than 4 days a week ?
Do expect coworkers to carry your workload while doing nothing or attending union meetings ?
Can you stand around with a stupid look on your face while looking busy ?
Have you ever worn surgical scrubs home and not returned them ?
Do you know how long a lunch hour is ? ( hint 60 minutes )
Do you like paying 54.00 per month for union dues and not being told what happens at LMP meetings (Labor/Management Partnership)?
Would you enjoy being a union shop steward and do as little as possible and get away with it and smile at management and
know they cant touch you because you will file a grievance ?
When you have to take a dump do you sit on the pot for 20 minutes or more because you can get paid to take a dump here
and you don't get paid at home ?
If you were to get in a race with a snail would the snail win ?
Do you currently have any injuries that you could claim that happened here that you could file a workers compensation case
or be put into a modified work program ?
If you have answered Yes to at least 1 or more of the questions above you will be strongly considered for a position here at
***************** (name omitted) . Congratulations !!! There is always a place for sorry ass incompetent people here . Once you have
completed 12 months of employment even with poor attendance you will be eligible to become a union shop steward and have
even more of a reason to stand around and do nothing . After your 90 day probation of being a union shop steward you will be
entitled to a plasectomy , at no charge to you . You ask yourself " What is a plasectomy " ? A plasectomy is a minor surgical
procedure in which a 12" x 12" piece of skin is taken out you stomach and a clear piece of plexiglass is put in its place so that
when you walk around with you head up your ass doing nothing you can still see where you are going . We are looking forward
to your employment here at this fine establishment . Thank you for taking your time in reading this questionnaire .

The Management

Said by Kim at 2:55 PM

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Yes....the PMS has left, and the Bitch has arrived as hoped for! When was the last time you ladies have ever wished for that??!!! I just want to be done by Saturday, so I won't have to worry about that!

Another scorcher here today....106. Karen, send some of that rain out this way!! Lord knows we need it!

Other than that...3 MORE DAYS until Van Halen!!! And 3 weeks after that it's Prince, and another vacation! Now that mom is feeling better, hopefully we can get some gambling time in....my hand it starting to itch. LOL

Said by Kim at 9:23 AM

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Yep....I'm still PMS'ing, so the waters still aren't safe yet. I figured this smilie was quite appropriate, given the recent goings-on in Lep fandom...

But hey...only 4 more days to work, then it's HELLLLOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAABY time!!! VAN HALEN BABY!!!! I can't freakin' wait! Kathy, what song do you want me to leave on your cell?

And since I'll be at the concert Saturday, I'll have to wait until after the show to find out the results of the Niners/Faiders preseason game. This, of course, is the big game of the year for Faider fans. If they lose this one, don't be surprised if you hear of overturned cars, setting buildings on fire, and just general malice that Faider fans are famous for. *G*

And jolly....I see we have a heat advisory today. As if my PMS'ing wasn't enough to add to my bitchy mood........

Said by Kim at 5:43 AM

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Monday, August 09, 2004

Just in case anyone this week is thinking of crossing my path with personal attacks about anything I've said about MY personal life here, or about anyone I am familiar with....take the advice of my Mood Box. 'Nuff said. You have been warned.

Said by Kim at 9:31 AM

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Sunday, August 08, 2004

Here's another fun quiz that I found on Michael's blog. Yep, I'd say this fits me quite well:

tomboy

Tomboy

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Said by Kim at 8:04 AM

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Here's a quick quiz that I found on Karen's blog. I'm a 'Daily Grinder':

I took the Blogging Personality Quiz at About Web logs and I am...

The Daily Grinder
I love blogging because it's like therapy. I can write about anything and everything that happens to me - from the food I ate to what I was doing when I heard the latest 'breaking news'. Being able to communicate with my friends (online and/or real life) through my blog is important to me.

Said by Kim at 6:06 AM

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Saturday, August 07, 2004

I'm pooped, and it's only early afternoon. I found ANTS in my bathroom this morning, going for Devil Dog's food. Let it be known loudly and clearly that I HATE ANTS!!!

So out comes the ant spray, and then the vacuum...and it's only 6:30 in the morning. I was going to mop all of the floors in the house today, anyway...I just got an earlier start than anticipated. But all was accomplished, so even though my feet feel like they are on fire, it feels good to have nice clean floors.

Got an email that my Prince ticket is about to be mailed...WOOHOO!!! And one week from tonight....VAN HALEN!!!

And Mom is feeling better for now....the pain she was in has subsided substantially this week. She hasn't needed anything rubbed on except for maybe once in the morning. So please keep your fingers crossed that she will stay pain-free. It's killing her that she can't go up to the casino to play, so maybe during my vacation in September we'll be able to go for a few hours.

Said by Kim at 1:00 PM

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Friday, August 06, 2004

Yes, I am!

Since I probably won't get to the favorite place of several of my fellow bloggers today at lunch, I just thought I'd give a little reminder to those who are Sonic-deprived:

How about a Toaster Sandwich...oh, look at that bread, grilled to perfection...the cheese melting, the onion ring:

Onion rings? Tater Tots? Fries? Get your ranch dressing ready for dipping, ladies!

Something to wash that down with? Coke? Limeade? Ocean Water?

Slushie, anyone?

Yes...go ahead and fill my comment box....I'M E*V*I*L!!!

Said by Kim at 5:49 AM

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Thursday, August 05, 2004

I told you I loved to sparkle....and here's what I do to a good majority of any denim jackets, and T-shirts that come into my possession....BLING BLING!!!

Said by Kim at 7:44 PM

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I'm sure we've all done this at LEAST once:

You have something in your hand, you lay it down, and 10 seconds later you can't remember where in the hell you put it?

That's what I did last night. While getting ready to hop in the tub, I pulled my nail clippers out of my drawer to trim a pesky nail, got distracted by my devil dog Max (he just HAD to have me throw his ball at that particular moment), put my clippers down, and 10 seconds later I couldn't find them.

*sigh* I spent the next 15 minutes searching through drawers, my makeup bag, even in the trash. NOTHING!!

So this morning, I was putting one of my butterfly hair clips back into the bag where I keep them, and there sits my clippers. I guess I must have put them into the bag last night when I thought I was putting my hair clip into the bag.

I'll be glad when my brain comes back from wherever it went.........

Said by Kim at 10:41 AM

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I don't think I ever posted a picture of the birthday present I got from Mom and Dad. Well, I actually spied it at Macy's when Kathy and I were shopping over the Memorial Day weekend, and I *LOVED* it! But because it was a little more than I usually pay for costume jewelry ($40.00), I passed it by. I told Mom about it when I got home, and she asked why I didn't buy it. I told her what it looked like, and where was I going to wear something that glitzy? She said it would be my birthday present, if I went and bought it with money she wanted to give me for it.

So, I did and this is what I got....a rhinestone cuff bracelet. And let me tell ya, it sparkles like a Reno casino!

Said by Kim at 5:59 AM

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Wednesday, August 04, 2004

I'm wondering if my mom had an 'out of body' experience during the night. She told Dad and I this morning that she had what she thought was a dream of a beautiful place, with soft music playing, and that she didn't want to leave. She sounded remorseful that she wasn't there anymore.

I've heard of people talk about 'a beautiful place' and that they also didn't want to come back.

What's even more ironic about this, is that Mom was talking about how she didn't want to have dirt thrown on her just last night. I asked her, "So are you wanting to be cremated?" She didn't really know what she wants....I know she's talked about wanting to be cremated. I asked her where I was supposed to put her, and she doesn't really know. She said, "Throw me in the ocean." That meaning over in the Pismo Beach area where she spent alot of time with family. My sister is buried in that area, and several of Mom's family is also buried there.

I just don't what this 'dream' is supposed to mean.

Said by Kim at 8:38 AM

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Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Yes, my friends....I am going to see Prince! I didn't even know he was coming until Kathy told me she was going with her sister-in-law. I asked if I could tag along, since I absolutely LOVED Prince's music back in his heyday, so I bought my ticket this morning. However, I'm sitting up in the nosebleed, while Kathy and her s-i-l will be on the floor. But no worries....I looked at the seating chart, and WOOHOO.. it's IN THE ROUND! Hmmmmmm...now where in the world have I seen concerts In The Round before??? LOL

It's Sept. 4th, so I've got Van Halen to see on Aug. 14th, then two weeks later Prince! WOOHOO!!!

Said by Kim at 1:14 PM

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Monday, August 02, 2004

Ahhhhh....NFL Training Camps are finally under way, ESPN's "Monday Night Countdown" is back on the air....all is right with the world now.

Said by Kim at 7:25 PM

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Damn....when I left for lunch, I saw a bunch of boxes sitting outside of the vacant store space a couple of doors down....then I saw the makeshift sign..."Spirit Halloween Superstore." Ugh...aren't we rushing things just a wee bit?? Not to mention the deplorable parking conditions that we will have during the month of October. Bleh.....

And on Saturday, when I was at the mall, I saw a store space that was being turned into "Christmas Is Coming." HELLLLOOO, it's only August 2!!! Damn...in a few years, all of the holiday stuff will be coming out on Memorial Day at this rate!

Said by Kim at 1:06 PM

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Sunday, August 01, 2004

Yes, it was another pain-filled weekend for Mom. She called her Ortho. on Friday, because she hadn't heard anything back since Monday when she had her testing done. She wanted to know what the doctor thought about the results, and to discuss surgery. WELL...wouldn't you know, he's now out of the country until Aug. 12th.

This disappointed her tremendously, and added to her already sky-high stress level from the pain. So that means she has to endure at least another two weeks of pain. This morning was a bad one for her....and I was worried because of all of the medication she was mixing in a 5 hour time frame. Vioxx, then Advil, then 2 Aleve, and she wanted to take the sample of Celebrex the doctor gave her! She said she's not afraid of the medication. "If it was going to hurt me, he wouldn't have given it to me." He also didn't mean for you to take it one on top of the other, either!

So....we're back to square one for now, until her Ortho. returns to town.

Damn doctors...........

Said by Kim at 8:17 PM

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Said by Kim at 5:56 AM

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